a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize