We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize