they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
