I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
