We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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