i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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