NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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