your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
