Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
