1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I look better un-naked...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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