The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
