OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
