I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
