my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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