She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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