i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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