So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
