just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
