I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
