you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Lo siento on account of my penis...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize