Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
