better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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