i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize