what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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