im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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