my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
