dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Randomize