Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
