Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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