quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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