That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
