OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
