I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
