i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
