Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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