I never want to see another naked old woman again.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As shirtless as possible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
