But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
