Non-Jews are for practice
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
