We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
