she woke up with a sticky ear
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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