Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
