I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
