The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
