Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
