What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
