You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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