in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
