just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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