mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
