i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
