Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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