Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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