put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
