Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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