I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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