you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
50% drunk capacity currently
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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