Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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