so that wasnt chicken after all
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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