i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
