Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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