absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
